My Motivation to Change
by Azn-Rinny
Summary: Gumi has a fear of boys after they had constantly made fun of her in the past. Rin tries to change her however no matter what everything is futile. On their first day of Junior year a guy by the name of Gumiya arrives and he is mean, cold, and very temperamental. Just the kind of guy that Gumi is afraid of. They are obviously not going to be involved in any way... right?
1. Chapter One: Fears

**Hi everybody that decided to read this story of mine! Thank you for deciding to~ (:  
**

**Okay, this is what happened, I had the idea for this story for a long time now, but I had NO IDEA who to pairing would be! At first I thought about making it MikuXKaito, however, I chose not to XD I don't really know why! I guess the male part didn't really fit Kaito for me I guess XP**

**Then I thought RinXLen? But I felt that I needed to be more diverse you know? ;3**

**So one of my friends, and one of my very faithful readers/reviewers Xitlalit123 suggested that I make a GumiXGumiya story. I became infatuated with the idea and decided, why not! ;D Thanks a bunch buddy! (:**

**So, here you go good friend :D **

**Enjoy~ (:**

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**Gumi POV**

For as long as I can remember... I have had a socially awkward fear of boys... it's really sad to be saying that when I'm already a sophomore... no, a junior in high school... but what can I do? It's the truth!

My name is Gumi Megpoid, and the reasoning behind my fear backtracks way back in my first day of Kindergarten. I was always made fun of for my green hair complexion. Especially by the boys in our class. Not just my hair complexion though, it started adding up to many other things... Even though I know myself that I shouldn't be stereotypical about this, I just can't help but think that all boys are the same...

My best and most closest friend, Rin Kagamine has tried for many years to bring boys closer to me so that I may one day get over this incredulous fear of boys, but whatever happens, she just seems to scare them away or beat them up in the end... which I don't have a problem with. It is much better than having to communicate with them anyway. She is also the only person that I can be outgoing with. Otherwise, I am extremely shy, and fear communicating with boys and in general, other people.

Sometimes, Rin would talk to me about her HUGE crush, well, maybe more of an obsession with Len Kagamine. He is extremely popular, but the thing that Rin seems to like the most about him is that he is extremely blunt and honest despite how hard it is for the other person. The usual person would be hurt sometimes by the truth, but Rin is different you know? She isn't afraid to hurt anyone despite their age or size, and she isn't a scaredy-cat or crybaby like I was. Whenever she talked about him, I can't help but think, will I ever feel like that?

I just don't understand...

I have never liked a boy. I was too busy being scared of them. They are all cruel to me...

While Rin on the other hand basically grew up with boys, and was one of those girls that were often mistaken for a boy in primary school for how she acted. Although its different now physically speaking, but taking away the fact that she has started to look more feminine, she's still the same kind of person.

"GUMI!" Someone, probably Rin yelled from outside my house. "If you don't hurry up, we'll be late for school!"

I skipped over to the window in my room on the 2nd floor of my house and yelled back, "Okay! I'll be down in a second!"

I quickly grabbed the bag that was hanging on my door and headed downstairs to the front door. "Bye mom!" I yelled behind to signify that I had left. It'd be rude if I didn't!

I saw the blonde impatiently staring at her watch and walking around in circles. "Rin! Sorry for making you wait!"

Rin turned around and blew air out of her lips, making her clipped bangs fly up, "It's okay Gumi. Anyway, despite that, are you ready for school again? The last day for the summer holidays have ended! We'll officially be juniors in high school!" She exclaimed as we started walking towards the way to school.

I sweatdropped and giggled nervously as I scratched the back of my head, "W-Well..."

Rin sneered and playfully smacked my back while she said, "Oh come on Gumi. Be positive!"

"Rin... it's not like I can control what I fear..." I said with a sigh as I fixed my goggles. "You know more than anyone that I can't help it!"

Rin sympathized, "Yeah... I know... but still! By the end of junior year, I swear Gumi Megpoid, I will get rid of this fear for you! I mean come on! Even for a girl like me to have a crush on someone is shocking enough!"

That is true actually... when I first heard that Rin had a crush, I almost went crazy. She just doesn't seem like the person to like someone like Len. Maybe. I don't know. I guess for a popular guy, he was different. He wasn't a player, or an attention seeker, so I guess it makes sense. But still... Rin? The temperamental, road-roller owning, yankee-personality girl, liking someone? It's crazy!

"Hello? Gumi! Are you listening to me?" Rin interrogated as she waved her hand up and down in front of my face.

I shook my head back and forth and snapped back into reality, "Oops! Sorry. I wasn't paying attention! What were you saying?"

Rin sighed and replied, "I was saying, maybe this year, you'll find someone you like too! Uhmmm... because I'm sure your grudge and fear against boys has budged at least a little bit right?"

I narrowed my eyes and shook my head back and forth as I said, "Not at all."

"How nonchalant..." Rin said with a tap of her chin. "Not even a millimeter?"

"You wish!" I replied back.

Rin crossed her arms after she adjusted her ribbon resting on her head and the ribbon on her uniform, "You're a tough cookie. Rest assured though, your best friend, Rin Kagamine will fix this!"

"In your dreams..." I muttered to myself in a joking manner.

Rin glared, "What?"

I started giggling and answered, "Oh nothing!"

Rin sighed and crossed her arms again, "I just don't understand! You act so ourgoing, loud, and dense with me, yet with others, you act so shy and insecure! Especially boys..."

I would get rid of this fear too you know... but it's really hard to forget things like that... it scars you I'm telling you! Wait... loud and dense! Hey!

"Oh hey Rin!" A masculine voice called out to obviously, Rin. Rin turned around, and her had an ecstatic smile plastered on her face, "Oh hi Len!"

Len walked over to where we were and I had involuntarily hid behind Rin's back. Despite the fact that I knew (and was the only person that knew) that Rin likes him. I should be able to trust people like him. The last thing I want to do, is hurt Rin by fearing the boy that she likes so much...

"So how was your short summer holiday?" Len asked Rin with a smile that I have never seen him smile before. Could he possibly like Rin in return? When I see him with other girls, he looks... annoyed. Or maybe he is comfortable with Rin who doesn't act head-over-heels for him, when she is.

"It was too fast!" Rin exclaimed with narrow eyes. "I would like to avoid getting into trouble! I always get in trouble in school you know!"

I could feel my heartbeat getting faster as I saw more boys passing Rin and Len. Since Len and Rin are so popular in school, everyone just seem to casually walk into their conversation... I wish I was like them...

"Ah! Rin!" Len called with another smile, "You and I are in the same class again this year! Oh, and so is Gumi if you were wondering."

Rin fist pumped and turned around to face me, "Did you hear that Gumi! We're in the same class!"

I smiled and nodded as I sighed with relief. I am so thankful. I feel a bit more at ease to know that Rin will be with me...

Suddenly, I heard a cellphone ring. It seems that it belonged to Len.

"Hello? Oh hey Gumiya. Where are you? It's your first day in this school you know." Len talked into the phone.

Rin raised an eyebrow and continued to listen to what Len was saying to the unknown guy by the name of Gumiya through the phone.

"You're lost? Really? Okay fine. I'll be there in a second." Len then shut his phone and sweatdropped. "Sorry guys. A friend of mine just moved here and he got... lost. So I'll see you guys in class." He explained to the group of people crowding around both Len and Rin. Resulting in the dispersal of the other students. Thank God...

Rin waved to Len and then grabbed a hold of my wrist, "Gumi! Did you see Len being nice to you? Are you still afraid of someone like him?"

I frowned and nodded, "I believe he is a great person. But, I guess I still can't control my fear despite how good the person might be."

Rin then flicked me in the forehead and said, "Stop thinking so negatively and let's try to conquer this okay? What happens when I won't be there to help you and you'll be all by yourself at your work or something!"

I could feel myself pout and eyes watering as I cling onto her arm, "Rinnnnnn! No! Don't leave me here alone in this scary boy filled world!"

Rin patted my head however gave me a meek look, "Fine. I won't leave you. Nor will I rush you. Just get over this in your own pace though. Okay?"

"I LOVE YOU RIN!" I exclaimed as I hopped on Rin's back and gave her a hug.

"Okay okay! Now we should probably get to class. We don't want to be late on our first day right?" Rin suggested with a wink.

I nodded, "Yeah. You're right!"

We both started to walk towards our classroom, A-3. When we walked inside the room, we both noticed that Len was already there. Next to him was a guy who had the same hair color as I did, and had a noticeable frown on his face. He was also twirling around his glasses with his right hand as he leaned back against the wall.

I could feel myself tense up. Another boy I have never seen...

"Hey guys!" Rin exclaimed with a wave. I hid behind Rin once more. Boys are scary!

Len looked over and also gave a wave. "Oh hey! Oh! You guys should me my friend, Gumiya Megpoid. He might be a little cold... but he's still a nice guy. Gumiya say hi."

Gumiya Megpoid? He has the same last name as I do!

Gumiya sighed and turned towards Rin and my-... well, Rin, since I was hiding behind her. "You know, I see you behind her, so what's the point of hiding?"

E-EH?

I stuck my head out from the right side of Rin and saw Gumiya give me a mean and scary look. WAH!

Rin giggled nervously and grabbed my shoulders and pushed me in front of her, "Come on! Introduce yourself to Gumiya!"

"B-B-But!" I studdered.

**DING DING DING **(My bell chimes XD)

"Oh! Well too late for introductions! L-Let's go Rin!" I said quickly as I dragged Rin away from them, and into our own little bubble.

Rin narrowed her eyes and scowled, "Gumi..."

"You know I can't do it!" I protested.

Rin rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, "That's not what I meant..."

I tilted my head, "...If that's not it, then what is it?"

Rin breathed out and set her hands on both of my shoulders again, "You know how our classes are always sitting in order from last names, alphabetically?"

I nodded, "Yeah! That's why you're always sitting in front of me! Which is great since we're best friends!"

"Yes..." Rin said with a nod as well, "However, the guy you think is so scary is going to be-"

We both noticed that Len and Gumiya were walking our direction and set their things down in their respective desks. Len next to Rin, and Gumiya next to... me...

Wait. Gumi Megpoid... Gumiya Megpoid... WHAT

"R-R-R-R-R-Rin!" I whimpered.

Rin winked and gave me a fist pum and whispered, "Gambatte! I'll be sitting right in front of my so it's okay!"

When Rin turned around with her back facing me, I started to shake as I sat down in my seat. When I set my bag down, I noticed Gumiya eyeing me down. It wasn't the positive kind either. He looked as if he wanted to kill me right here, right now.

I AM SO SCARED! RIN SAVE ME!

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**Okay! That's it for now! How is it? :3**

**Please leave a review! You don't know how much those make my day! (:**

**I promise to commit to my at least one update per day or every two day thing now! :D**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW ONEGAISHIMASU! ;3**

**Rinny Out! ;3**


	2. Chapter Two: Mind Intrusions

**Hi Hi Minna-san! ;D  
**

**Rinny is back from another hiatus!  
**

**As soon as my sprained wrist got better... I GOT THE DAMN STOMACH FLU.  
**

**DAFUQ IS UP WITH DAT! ._.  
**

**It lasted for quite some time so I couldn't even go to school... I was rather disappointed that I couldn't fulfill to my regular updating times, but I'm better now!**

**So do not fret! Since Rinny has now returned, I shall resume my regular update times! (:  
**

**This chapter may be a bit rushed seeing I typed this when I was sick ._. I just didn't realized I didn't update it! Sorry Sorry~  
**

**So with that being said~  
**

**Please enjoy!  
**

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**In the previous chapter...  
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Gumiya Megpoid? He has the same last name as I do!

Gumiya sighed and turned towards Rin and my-... well, Rin, since I was hiding behind her. "You know, I see you behind her, so what's the point of hiding?"

E-EH?

I stuck my head out from the right side of Rin and saw Gumiya give me a mean and scary look. WAH!

Rin giggled nervously and grabbed my shoulders and pushed me in front of her, "Come on! Introduce yourself to Gumiya!"

"B-B-But!" I studdered.

**DING DING DING **(My bell chimes XD)

"Oh! Well too late for introductions! L-Let's go Rin!" I said quickly as I dragged Rin away from them, and into our own little bubble.

Rin narrowed her eyes and scowled, "Gumi..."

"You know I can't do it!" I protested.

Rin rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, "That's not what I meant..."

I tilted my head, "...If that's not it, then what is it?"

Rin breathed out and set her hands on both of my shoulders again, "You know how our classes are always sitting in order from last names, alphabetically?"

I nodded, "Yeah! That's why you're always sitting in front of me! Which is great since we're best friends!"

"Yes..." Rin said with a nod as well, "However, the guy you think is so scary is going to be-"

We both noticed that Len and Gumiya were walking our direction and set their things down in their respective desks. Len next to Rin, and Gumiya next to... me...

Wait. Gumi Megpoid... Gumiya Megpoid... WHAT

"R-R-R-R-R-Rin!" I whimpered.

Rin winked and gave me a fist pum and whispered, "Gambatte! I'll be sitting right in front of my so it's okay!"

When Rin turned around with her back facing me, I started to shake as I sat down in my seat. When I set my bag down, I noticed Gumiya eyeing me down. It wasn't the positive kind either. He looked as if he wanted to kill me right here, right now.

I AM SO SCARED! RIN SAVE ME!

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**Gumi POV**

Why?

Why was I fated to sit next to this person? He was scary, and I didn't want to get involved with him in the first place.

He's a perfect example of why I'm who I am today. Len says that he's a good person... but I don't see it. AT ALL.

He looks like someone who could break me like a toothpick in less than 2 seconds, just by approaching him in a sociable manner.

Do you know how scary that is!

"Rin~! I can't do it!" I whispered to her after tapping my pencil on her shoulder easily, since I sat right behind her.

That's the only pro to actually sitting next to this scary and intimidating individual...

Rin turned around and gave me a wink while whispering back, "Yes, you can! He's not even bothering you right now since class is in session!"

I whined softly as Rin turned back around to face the class and left me in fear. I don't even have the courage to even glance at him.

I have got to stop shaking.

I mean, he's nice when you get to know him..? Or, are you just implying that he's always going to be a jerk, I just need to get used to it.

What a perfect example of a euphemism. If only it wasn't really relevant to my actual situation...

Ack! I swear I felt a cold glance just now. I think I can suspect who it's from too...

Did I already mention that I am scared? Really scared?

I'm sure I have.

I think I abused the process of fearing something, or in this case, someONE... who has green hair, the occational glasses when needed, and a green complextion of hair that we both share...

Okay Gumi. Remember, overthinking is unhealthy. Just concentrate on your studies and carry on with life... forget that anything is obstructing you, and just live life. Carpe Diem!

However, karma must hate me... because as soon I made that decision to just forget, the lunch bell rang and everything and everyone in the room started getting rowdy.

Now I just got nervous again. Especially when Gumiya, the guy next to me started to move.

Especially that...

Well, even if the class is rowdy, I should just go through the plan like I said! Why go halfway? Well, I haven't even went that far yet but whatever.

You get it. Right?

Anyway,

Rin, sitting in front of me sighed of relief and and slumped over while exclaiming, "Wahhhhh. I'm so friggin tired! What a drag!"

I smiled and glanced over at Len who chuckled and commented, "I know right! It's only the first day of school too." while he stood up and stretched before he sat down on Rin's desk.

I giggled at their mutual feelings of animosity towards school. Both Rin and Len look so perfect for each other. I'm really curious how Rin can act so normally with everyone. I can only act normal in front of Rin, and Rin only. She however, can act like her, anytime and anywhere!

I mean, she's heads over heels for Len, and yet she's still calm, cool, and collected.

I envy my best friend so much.

A fearless, adroit, and wonderful girl, who has a best friend that is cowardly, introverted, and fearful girl like me! She has that sporty beauty to her while I'm pretty plain.

I REALLY envy her.

I continue to envy her as she talks to Len so easily with laughs. They could be mistaken for boyfriend and girlfriend!

Lucky people.

"Guuuuuuuumi!"

My eyes widened as they snapped back to reality. How long have I spaced out, admiring my wonderful friend?

"YES!" I exclaimed.

Rin slided over to my desk and "I'm hungry!"

I gave a meek expression, "Then go get something from the cafeteria!"

Rin whined again, "But I don't want to!"

"You said you were hungry!" I argued back.

"I am! But I am lazy!" She said as her rebuttal.

Admiration has now officially concluded. Probably for a long time. I forgot just how she thinks most of the time.

"Well, you're hungry! We all know what happens when you're hungry! Things get crazy!"

Rin whined again as she slammed her forehead on her palms, "Come with me Gumi!"

"No." I said with a cross of my arms and my tongue sticking out, "You have got to do this! You're a junior in high school!"

"But it's so faaaar!" Rin complained.

I narrowed my eyes, "It's a 2 minute walk from here to there and back."

Rin groaned, "Too long..."

I had an "SMH" moment, and while having so, I noticed that Len had looked over at us and overheard Rin whine and smirked a little as he walked a short distance over to her and slung an arm around her while saying, "I'll go with you Rin!"

Her eyes sparkled and suddenly, the energy that she was lacking just 5 seconds ago, appeared out of nowhere and she nodded her head with a smile, "Yay! Let's go Len!"

Rin waved goodbye to me and said that she would be back soon. I nodded to that implication and I still remained sitting in the seat of my desk and pulled out my bento box. I wasn't really hungry, but this classroom is full of kids eating. I feel out of place.

A nibble here and there isn't too bad!

I opened the box and munched on random foods as a hamster would.  
While doing so, I had gotten startled when a male classmate behind me had shouted gibberish. The sound echoed around the small classroom cubicle and because of that, my chopsticks flew out of my hand and hit the marble floor.

Grrreat.

Karma really hates me.

I sighed and hung my head in shame. Wonderful first day of school! Juuust wonderful!

Sarcasm would be useful in this situation...

"Hey! Are you just going to leave me hanging here, or what?"

I batted my eyes in confusion when I realized that the voice was too... masculine.

I also tilted my head in confusion. I've heard this voice before. It wasn't Len. His voice wasn't as cold. He wasn't even in the room right now, he's with Rin at the-...

Ohgawd.

My eyes then widened in realization. If Rin and Len, the ones who sit in front of me aren't here... then...

I hesitantly turned my head in an almost robotic extent to fearfully face him. Gumiya Megpoid.

He looked as if he wad grinding his teeth in annoyance and kept his hand extended towards me with my chopsticks in hand.

"It's about time." He said with a roll and aversion of his eyes.

My cheeks heated up with embarrassment and nervousness, "S-S-S-Sorry!"

I bowed my head slightly and quickly accepted my eating utensil back quickly with both hands. He sighed and then said, "Calm down. Am I a serial killer or something?"

You could pass as one. Just saying.

I didn't answer his question. I just averted my eyes and turned back around to face the front of my desk.

"You're weird."

My left eye twitched as he said that comment and I felt myself give a little frown.

That comment used to hurt my feelings when I was younger. Although it doesn't really bother me now, I just remember clearly when I was a child, I was always known as the weird girl who often got called things like "booger-head" or something...

I sighed and put away my less than half eaten boxed lunch.

Weird..?

I guess it makes sense. It's nothing new.

Even if it isn't anything new, I wonder why when he said it, it really made a difference?

Sometimes, I wonder...

Why does karma really hate me?

I groaned to myself and slumped over on my desk.

This sucks...

Wait, now that I think about it...

What's taking Rin and Len so long?

I looked at the entrance, and speak of the devil, there they were. Laughing and having fun.

As always.

Len then glanced over at Gumiya and cocks his head while giving him a hand gesture and saying, "Come here Gumiya!"

"Alright." I heard Gumiya reply back dully.

Through my peripheral, I saw him stand up and start walking over to Len, however, before he had completely passed my desk, he stopped, looked at my directly in the eyes and said,

"When I said, 'weird' it doesn't always imply something negative you know. Lighten up."

My eyes widened, my heart skipped a beat, and I felt my teeth chatter for no apparent and logical reason.

My goggles were slipping down to my eyes and I hadn't noticed that part until Rin had walked over and fixed them.

"You look ridiculous!" She commented with her tongue sticking out in a taunting manner.

I stayed quiet and felt my cheeks. They were hot. I'm not sure why.

Rin grabbed a chair and set it across from my desk, "So, I saw that you and Gumiya had a little... connection! What did you guys talk about?"

I choked on my damn saliva when she interrogated that...

"What do you mean! We didn't talk!" I exclaimed. "He just... picked up the chopsticks I dropped, for me!"

Rin rolled her eyes, "Right... anyway, what did he say? I know he said more!"

More?

I glanced over at the fellow green headed boy. He was talking to Len, maybe teasing random people seeing how Len was reacting anyway. Maybe he called him a shouta or something.

I gave a curious expression as I thought, "What kind of person was this guy by the name of Gumiya?"

He sure is different I'll tell you that. He's not different from any guy I met or seen though. He still scares me...

But he's different.

"What you thinking about?" Rin interrogated with a tap of her chin.

I shrugged, "Nothing."

When really, a lot of things were in my mind...

What I'm wondering is though...

Why is it all about Gumiya? Why is it all about what he said? What he implied? Who he is?

But above all things...

Why did he say that to me?

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**Well how was it guys? ;D**

**I hope you all enjoyed!**

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**Rinny Out ;3**


	3. Chapter Three: Uncertainty

**Yo Yo Yo! :D  
**

**What's up everyone?  
**

**Not to sound conceited or anything... but I've been doing a decent job with this story updating thing, haven't I?! :D I think I am!  
**

**Let's hope I can keep this up, yeah? (;  
**

**Okay, so uhh, I hope everyone has a wonderful day and I also hope you like the update! (:  
**

**Enjoy! (:**

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**In the previous chapter...**

Len then glanced over at Gumiya and cocks his head while giving him a hand gesture and saying, "Come here Gumiya!"

"Alright." I heard Gumiya reply back dully.

Through my peripheral, I saw him stand up and start walking over to Len, however, before he had completely passed my desk, he stopped, looked at my directly in the eyes and said,

"When I said, 'weird' it doesn't always imply something negative you know. Lighten up."

My eyes widened, my heart skipped a beat, and I felt my teeth chatter for no apparent and logical reason.

My goggles were slipping down to my eyes and I hadn't noticed that part until Rin had walked over and fixed them.

"You look ridiculous!" She commented with her tongue sticking out in a taunting manner.

I stayed quiet and felt my cheeks. They were hot. I'm not sure why.

Rin grabbed a chair and set it across from my desk, "So, I saw that you and Gumiya had a little... connection! What did you guys talk about?"

I choked on my damn saliva when she interrogated that...

"What do you mean! We didn't talk!" I exclaimed. "He just... picked up the chopsticks I dropped, for me!"

Rin rolled her eyes, "Right... anyway, what did he say? I know he said more!"

More?

I glanced over at the fellow green headed boy. He was talking to Len, maybe teasing random people seeing how Len was reacting anyway. Maybe he called him a shouta or something.

I gave a curious expression as I thought, "What kind of person was this guy by the name of Gumiya?"

He sure is different I'll tell you that. He's not different from any guy I met or seen though. He still scares me...

But he's different.

"What you thinking about?" Rin interrogated with a tap of her chin.

I shrugged, "Nothing."

When really, a lot of things were in my mind...

What I'm wondering is though...

Why is it all about Gumiya? Why is it all about what he said? What he implied? Who he is?

But above all things...

Why did he say that to me?

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**Gumi POV**

"Gumi."

Hmm… I wonder if something between Gumiya and I will happen today. He and sit next to each other, and well, it's hard for things to not happen between a guy and myself. However, I wonder if something he will do today will make me feel like I did yesterday.

"Hey. Gumi!"

I was thinking about that very thought all night last night. I didn't get a wink of sleep. I was too busy trying to figure out why Gumiya would have said those things in the first place.

"GUMI."

Is there even such thing as "weird" in a good way? I have never heard someone say that being weird is a good thing. I have heard people acknowledge that they are indeed weird, but that doesn't mean they see it as a wondrous thing as a whole. Was Gumiya in truth insulting me? That's disheartening!

"GUMI FREAKING MEGPOID!"

My eyes widened at the sound, err, well, more than it being just a sound, it was more of an unnecessary shout, of my name. Rin had been giving me her signature, "I'm going to kill you," glare while keeping her arms crossed as we walked towards the school.

"What?" I asked in response, ignoring the fact that I had not listened to Rin's continuous calls for attention.

"What..? Did you seriously just ask me, 'What?' in a clueless manner?" Rin asked me while she was grinding her teeth.

I feel like she's going to kill me anytime soon.

"Uhm… yes?" I answered back hesitantly and as sweetly as possible.

Rin rubbed the sides of her heads in annoyance for a couple seconds before she had taken in a deep breath and said, "Okay, are you going to listen to me now?"

I nodded, "Yep!"

Rin took in another deep breath before she said, "I was going to ask what you are thinking about? Is it about Gumiya?"

Once again, Rin has the incredulous power of making me choke on my own saliva. She's been continuously making me do that lately. It's so friggin annoying!

"Ah, so it is about Gumiya." Rin said with a smirk. "Aw! You guys would be so cute together!"

I narrowed my eyes at Rin as I replied to her comment, "No we would not! I told you many, many, MANY times already Rin, I do not think about Gumiya like that! He's just like any other guy to me. Scary and a waste of my time!"

Rin had given me a skeptical look before she had said, "That's how it all starts out. Then, you both are going to hopelessly fall in love and live happily ever after!"

Rin is the most ridiculous best friend you could ever ask for, I swear.

"No, Rin. That is not what's going to happen. What's going to happen between Gumiya and I is the exact opposite of what you said!" I explained. "He even called me 'weird' yesterday! You know I have history with that word!"

Rin sighed at what I said and replied back as her rebuttal, "Gumi, you need to forgive and forget. I understand how you must feel about what had happened in the past, but you don't have to keep holding a grudge about it."

What Rin had said, was logically very true. To be honest, at most points of my life, I want to live life like that as well. However, I am always restraint from doing things like that because of my constant habit of thinking back to my past. Reliving the moments over and over again.

"It's easier said than done." I replied back. "I've said this plenty of times, but I just can't do it, Rin."

"You always say that you can't." Rin said abruptly. "But I've never seen you try."

I stopped walking suddenly when the blonde headed girl had said those words. From that comment, I could tell that she was pissed off at me.

"I do try." I muttered back softly. However, even I knew that rather than not trying, I didn't want to. I was afraid of the same result.

Rin sighed as she raked her clipped bangs back, "You know, it never hurts to try. I'm just saying this because I care about you, Gumi."

I sighed as well, "Yeah… I know… and I appreciate that you always care about me to this extent! I love you so much for that! I just think that I need to go at my own pace… and I think your pace is just a bit fast for me."

Rin had nodded, "Okay, then will you promise me that if I let you go on your own pace, without pressuring you, you will actually try this time?"

I gave my worried friend a smile, "Yes. I will."

Rin smiled along with me and gave me a wink and a thumbs up, "Alright! Then take your time~"

Rin is so understanding… therefore, I just can't give her up. She's always been there for me, and cared for me to such an amazing extent. I don't know why she's still here, trying to help me out.

I haven't even done anything for her, why is she always looking out for me?

I mean, for instance, when we were kids, Rin would always look out for me, and beat up all the bullies in a blink of an eye. She had stood up for me and protected me with everything. She was like an overprotective father and his only daughter that he had left in his family.

I need to learn to appreciate Rin more. One day, Len will finally have the guts to ask Rin out, and what'll happen then? Rin will not have time for me as much as she did anymore. What would I do?

So in that sense, I guess Rin is right. I need to start trying little by little to achieve that goal that she wants me to achieve. If not, I would just keep dragging Rin down, and I would most definitely not like that!

"Hey, Gumi." Rin called out to me, "We're at school now. What are you doing? Let's get to class!"

I shook my head back and forth and snapped back to reality. I hadn't realized that I was thinking so hard to the extent that I was still walking in my continuous rate and almost ran into the school building walls. "Oh right! Coming!"

I followed behind Rin who was leading the way to our classroom. I'm kind of nervous. What happens if Gumiya was already there, sitting in his seat? Would he talk to me? Would he say that I was weird again? The things that he could do are unpredictable. He was someone that I could not comprehend.

I just cannot understand the kind of person that he is. Usually I was the kind of girl that could always predict what could happen if I was involved with someone, however, this time around, it doesn't seem to work that way.

I wasn't sure what was going to happen between Gumiya and I if I continued sitting in the current seat that I was sitting in.

Like I said, I can't predict what could happen. Gumiya is really difficult to figure out. Was he a nice person like Len? Was he just literally the scariest person that I will ever meet in my life?

What if he was both?

I mean, he had complimented me, yet insulted me. Which could mean that he was a nice person, but really mean about it. Goodness gracious, I don't even know what I'm saying!

With that being said, we had arrived to the classroom. Gumiya wasn't there yet, however, Len seemed to already be in his seat, slumped over in what seemed to be exhaustion. The second day and already we're all tired. That seems like an overexaggeration, but really, it's not.

I too am already tired out from all this. Even though the majority of the source of exhaustion is mostly from thinking, rather, overthinking about one thing in general. Then again, rather than it being a thing, I should say, one person in general.

"Hey Len." I heard Rin greet with Len still lying on his desk. "Tired out I see?"

I heard Len grumble a reply, "Very… how do you always look so energized?"

"I do?" Rin replied. "Because, that is definitely not how I'm feeling right now."

Rin managed to bring Len's head up to look at hers, and soon they were talking and well, enjoying each other's presence. That kind of thing is taboo for me. I can't seem to fully grasp the actual idea of what Rin was doing.

Rin glanced at me once before she asked, "So, where's Gumiya? You're usually with him."

My eyes had widened for some reason. Probably from that fact that Rin had looked at me before asking the said question to Len.

I myself was tempted to look at Len, somewhat curious for the answer as well. The temptation was killing me, and soon enough, I was also looking at Len, waiting for a response.

Len had shrugged and said, "I don't know if he's going to be coming to school today honestly. He actually got sick."

Rin's eyes widened in surprise as she said, "Sick? Really?"

I was also a bit shocked as well. He doesn't seem like the person to get sick all of a sudden. Although I shouldn't assume about someone that I don't even know, even putting that aside, he looked completely alright yesterday.

"Yeah. He may not look it, but he's always getting sick. Although I don't know for sure if he's coming to school today, he usually ends up coming in the end, so we should expect him to be here soon." Len answered with a yawn somewhere in his explanation.

Rin nodded and gave me a wink as she replied, "I see. Well, I'm glad it's nothing serious. That would be quite unfortunate."

I myself felt a little bit of sympathy. Maybe he was just really good at hiding his inner pain? That makes it sound like he's sickly to the extent that he's going to die soon…

Okay, never mind that.

Putting all that aside, I took in consideration of what Len had said, and as I sat down in my desk, I was prepared to face Gumiya to step inside the class any minute now.

Any…

Minute…

Now…

Hmm… this is odd. Class is going to start soon. If what Len was telling me was true, he should be here by now.

Was he that sick?

Wait a damn second… am I worried about this scary-as-hell individual? Was I seriously worried about this guy?!

No Gumi, you're not worried about Gumiya at all. What are you saying? You're just afraid that he's going to actually come to class and scare you like any other boy.

Yeah, that makes a lot more sense.

However, at that moment the school bell had rang, and soon enough class had initiated. As suspected, Gumiya was not here, and to be completely honest, my day in class was actually really comfortable without him around.

I didn't feel any stress whatsoever, and absolutely no pressure at all. Not to mention the fact that I wasn't afraid as much as I usually was of school.

All because one person was not present.

Even with that said though, I couldn't help but to keep glancing at that empty seat right beside me. Sure, it was a lot more comfortable without Gumiya around; however, it felt really… empty.

The presence of a scary aura was missing. It felt odd, yet comfortable. When I say odd, I don't mean it like a peculiar kind of odd or anything like that… I mean odd as in I have no idea how to explain this feeling, but I know for certain that it wasn't a feeling that made me feel good.

It's like one of those feelings where you feel a lot better without that thing present or with you, but you know that without it, you wouldn't feel the same…

It's only been the second day of school, but I'm starting to already accept the fact that Gumiya is supposed to seat next to me. To scare me. To intimidate me.

To make me shake in fear or uncertainty…

Argh, what I'm trying to say is…

As hard as it may sound for me to say such a thing…

Gumiya needs to be sitting next to me, right this instant.

It feels "odd" otherwise.

* * *

**That'll conclude this chapter! (;**

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